Well, the blog page I linked to with the Punxsutawney Jesus joke died and went away so I just thought I'd put it up myself:
Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom of Heaven, he had to test them for worthiness. They had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said "So, tell me." She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder." St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good!!!" Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out and if Jesus sees his shadow, then that means we will have six more weeks of hockey."
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